Friday, June 9, 2017

Horrible Cross Over Fan-Fiction Friday: Prison Beasts

Every Friday, your esteemed blogger will be writing a piece of Fan Fiction using the random mashup provided by This week's Fan Fic cross-over is....

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Beauty and the Beast and Street Sharks. The story should use Prison as a plot device!

Beauty, Beast and The Street Sharks star in....

Prison Break: Zootopia 

(A note before we begin: I have no idea who the Street Sharks are outside of random stills from the 90's cartoon like this one) 

Part 1: Sentenced to DEATH 

Beauty's heart sank as the judge's gavel came down. The jury only took 30 seconds.....or 30 minutes....maybe it was 30 hours.....all 12 of them were animals with no sense of time, as it's a human construct. When the jury foreman read out the decision finding Beauty guilty of being a human there was a loud howl from the back of the courtroom as Beast violently stood up and started throwing around possums, voles and ferrets. 

"She's innocent you jackass!" roared Beast, his massive 9-foot frame of pure fuzzy, rippling, chiseled muscle barreling down the center aisle of the Zootopia courtroom. 

"And she's not a jackass!" yelled back the esteemed judge Dominick the Donkey. 

The pair of burly oxen bailiffs roughly grabbed the slender Beauty's upper arms and the German librarian was helpless as that's the universal weak spot on all women. Two rhinos in police uniforms went to restrain Beast but the mighty Prince was too strong for even the pair of pachyderms to hold back as he tried in vain to rescue the love of his life. 

Then in one quick moment Beast felt 99,000 zigawatts of electricity flow through him. Zootopia's Most Elitest Special Officer had arrived. Judy Hopps bounced dwon from Beast's back with her "anti-large mammal and possibly reptiles but for some reason those don't exist in Zootopia" taser firmly in hand. 

"Special Forces Officer Judy Hopps to the rescue!" proclaimed the only bunny to serve on the Zootopia Police Department task force. "This human-loving monster has been subdued and is ready for extraction to the uncivilized zone!" 

"NNNNOOOOOO!!!" shouted Beauty once Beast was taken down by Judy. Unable to resist the upper arm grab, Beauty went along as the bailiffs escorted her to the back exit of the Zootopia courtroom, avoiding the anti-human crowd at the front entrance. 

"This is what you humans get for coming back to Zootopia." said one of the officers as Beauty was shoved into the back of a van to be hauled off to the maximum security prison from the movie Zootopia. "Yeah" said his partner "though any animal that willingly hangs out with a human should be put down too. Your buddy won't survive a week in the uncivilized zone." 

The two animals laughed as they slammed the door shut and banged on the back door, giving the driver the signal to haul Beauty away to the maximum security prison. Meanwhile, the sedated Beast was loaded onto a high-tech helicopter transport and dumped 700 miles away from Zootopia onto a beach outside a run-down shanty village. 

Groggy and recovering from the shock delivered by the "anti-large mammal and possibly reptile" taser, Beast stood up and dusted off his blue overcoat, re-adjusted his buttons, composed himself, and then threw back his head and let loose a loud roar. 

A roar of vengeance at the fluffy animals that had taken away his Beauty all because she was a human. 

Beast's roar was interrupted by a loud crash emanating from a nearby sewer drainage pipe. Hearing some muffled screams and the sound of a feeding frenzy, Beast rushed over to the pipe and was stunned at the carnage he saw inside: four shark-like men were eating a group of four turtle men, probably only teenagers judging by their size. The shark men were vicious, grabbing one of the turtles, this one had a blue piece of cloth on his head, as it tried to crawl away and then cracking open the shell to get the good parts inside. 

The smell of blood was almost too much for Beast. He nearly went feral and joined into the frenzy right then and there. Instead, he threw his arms back and roared once more, the noise echoing down the pipe and catching the attention of all four shark-men. The sharks recognized an alpha predator once they were done with the feeding frenzy and all four slowly circled Beast, sniffing him and...doing whatever it is that sharks do to determine dominance...I can't be bothered to look it up and at this're committed. Let's just say they sniffed his butt. 

Beast smiled to himself and bared his fangs. He would get his Beauty back, and these sharks would do it for him. 

Hit the jump for the thrilling conclusion to this week's Horrible Fan Fiction cross-over! 

Part 2: A Blood Breakout Bloodbath 

Beauty sat in her tiny cell all by herself. As the only human imprisoned within Zootopia, she was deemed too dangerous to be with the other animals. Permitted only half an hour of activity each day and all her meals passed to her through a tiny slot in the solid steel door, Beauty thought she would slowly go insane. She knew that someday, her Prince would come and rescue her. It had been, by her count, a full week and still no heroic rescue. 

"Maybe Beast found someone else. Like that hussy, Snow White," muttered Beauty to herself as she made another mark on the wall, getting closer to her expected execution date.  "I thought a vacation to Zootopia would be great, a nice place for Beast to be himself. I had no idea they hated humans." 
Beauty continued talking to herself, holding onto her sanity for as long as she could. 

The noise was quiet at first, like a distant rumble of thunder in the distance, yet her cell started shaking slightly. Beauty crawled further onto her bed as she thought she started to 
Was it..? Was that Welcome to the Jungle by Guns and Roses? 



Beast could hardly believe the shark men that he had recruited to help him rescue Beauty. At first he thought they were blood thirsty savages, but now, flying down the sewers in a converted dune buggy alongside the shark-men, he realized they were just idiots. The blue one kept talking about "going extreme" while the one with the t-shaped head kept talking about "his bros". All four were eager to help Beast as his plan to rescue Beauty sounded, to the shark-men, as i fit were "totally a knock against the fascist mammal overlords dude". 

Beast wasn't one to argue, as he needed to get Beauty out before the Zootopians publicly executed her as an example. With a scream of "TOTALLY AWESOME!" the dune buggy flew out of the sewer pipe into a large, cavernous....judging by the smell....waste disposal area. Moving surprisingly as if they were a well-trained military unit framed for a crime they didn't commit, the shark men lept from the dune buggy and onto a nearby platform filled with half covered barrels of....yup....more waste. 

Beast nearly gagged on the stench. "Can you....bros....smell that!? It's horrible!" 

The shark-men stopped, looked at each other and then at Beast. The red one spoke up and explained "Dude, sharks can only smell in water." 

Beast paused for a moment, questioning the scientific accuracy of that statement, then realized the didn't care as he had to get free Beauty from her prison cell. "Bros, what direction are the cells for the most dangerous criminals?" 

The Sharks, making their way up a flight of stairs, laughed. "No idea bro! Just hang back and let us get through the guards for you." 

Beast nodded solemnl as they approached the heavy steel door at the top of the stairwell. One of the sharks, we'll just say the light blue guy since I don't think he's been mentioned yet, pulled a boombox out of his wait...that makes no sense....oh who cares? 

The light blue shark with red stripes pulled out a boom box, hit the play button, and grinned a toothy grin. "Feeding time bros!" 

The wailing guitar kicked in. 

The bass started up. 

At the first chords of Axl's screeching, the sharks all shouted and barged throguh the door into the Zootopian prison complex. 

It was feeding time. 


Beauty wasn't shocked when the door to her cell went flying backwards into the wall of her cell. There was her Prince, back lit by the fading sunset, the sweet, soothing sounds of mammalian screams and rock music filling the air. 

"Beast!" shouted Beuaty as she ran to the only man she could ever love. 

"Beauty!" shouted Beast as he ran to the only woman that would let him put it in h....

......that was the moment that Great Cthulu arose from the slumbering depths of 'Ryleh and ate everyone. 

The End

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