Because deep down inside, I think I hate myself. I have set an incredibly absurd gaming goal for myself. How absurd? Rise up the ranks in League of Legends, a game I originally played as a closed beta tester back in the dark days of 2008, and achieve a Platinum rank for Season 7.
That may not sound bad, but League of Legends has the most toxic of all online communities not found on Reddit and this is a guaranteed way to cause what little hair I have left to turn gray. Or just fall out. We'll see what happens.